


The Healer

by LillyBaaaka



Series: An Unexpected Development [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Dimension Travel, Female Harry Potter, Gen, Master of Death Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 19,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25416544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillyBaaaka/pseuds/LillyBaaaka
Summary: Time line, what time line? Or Harriet makes her way around the elemental countries and encounters a few *cough* unique people and situations. Told in short spurts of 300 or so words each.
Series: An Unexpected Development [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781230
Comments: 18
Kudos: 441





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story Warnings: accidental plot, potty mouth, some violence, narratives without dialogue, very few fight scenes.
> 
> Disclosure 1: This is strictly a writing exercise that's a spin off idea from a one liner in my story An Unexpected Development. It turned into a back story for the name "Harriet Luna."
> 
> Disclosure 2: This story is purposefully told in unfinished, generally short bits in no particular order. Please don't comment on this.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter and make no money from playing in their owners' sandboxes.
> 
> Dedication: To all those who answered the AUD question: "If chips are to Chouji as shogi is to Shikamaru, what is coffee to Harriet and Spock? Can they even be compared?"

1.

The foreign healer's name was Hari Runa. Other than that, she didn't tell and the nuke-nin, in a strange take on professional curtsey, didn't ask.

The only thing they knew, other than her name, was that she was rarely in the same place twice and collected favors as a form of payment. They also knew, by second hand account only, that if you didn't pay up when asked, you disappeared, with no bounty claimed. These two facts together made the foreigner something of a last resort even to them. Yet, as nuke-nin, healers and iryo-nin were in short supply. So, when they saw the covert symbol that they knew, also largely by word of mouth, meant she was in the area, they did their best to pay in ryo and leave it at that.

Of course, Hidan didn't do favors or respect and Kakuzu didn't just give out money on others behalf.

"Look bitch just heal it the fuck up already!"

Hari sat back and gave the rather rude nuke-nin an unimpressed look.

"If you don't hurry the fuck up, I'm gonna sacrifice your ass to Jashin-sama!"

Hari stood and quietly bared her wrist, then her teeth in a rather sharp smile at the injured man before her. "May Jashin's wrath wash over me like a wave breaks before a wall of strong rock." On the wrist, etched in black, was the symbol of Jashin with a line down the center.

Hidan proceeded to scream.

Kakuzu continued to sip his tea calmly outside the small shelter.

When the screaming stopped sometime later and the young healer stepped outside with her supplies mounted on her back, ready to leave, he mildly told her, "I'm not paying for anything."

She hoisted the travel pack higher onto her back, then began walking. "He's already made a partial payment. I'll collect the rest at a later date."

Kakuzu could live with that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The numbering scheme means very little. The chapters are both written and posted in random order.

2.

Hari had been wondering the Land of Rivers for some time now. In fact, she had been wondering the elemental countries for some time now as well. She was rather surprised. Usually, she didn't spend enough time in any given location to properly learn the language yet here she was, fluent and still meandering her way through what she imagined was a less feudal Japan. Her local Japanese was far from perfect, and heavily accented, but she found that it got the point across well enough.

Her living conditions however… now that was a completely different story. At first she had been content to camp out of her tent. Then she realized pitching it without a few disillusionment charms made her a target. _Then_ she realized even if she did use a combination of disillusionment and muggle repelling charms, the ninjas, _ninjas_ , could still hear or smell her, making her an even larger target on account of their shear paranoid curiosity. Finally, she stopped using the holly wand and began making judicious use of the elder wand and her cloak. It did wonders. It did even more wonders when she figured out she didn't necessarily need to actually _use_ either of them.

It also helped that she stopped traveling down the roads. As a result, finding human society was difficult, yes, but not impossible. Thus how she had ended up finding the rural people she had painstakingly learned the local language from when she realized she was in for the long haul.

However, on the point of housing, she was not impressed. Not a single one of the villages she had come across had been able to present a decent mattress and fewer still had floors that weren't made of dirt. Then again, she was purposely avoiding large city centers so what did she expect?

Speaking of villages, she would need to stop in for a few supplies. A large number of the herbs she used in her ointments could be found in the wild but she couldn't conjure up food. A few 'omamori' here and there to promote good health and a few health checks would do the trick.

Now if only she could find another one of those villages. Housing aside, she was rather tired of game and root vegetables. And, to be honest, of the Land of Rivers.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

Shikaku knew a lot about deer, as was to be expected of someone who cared for a herd of them essentially in his backyard. He did not, however, know much about hawks. Specifically, the hawk that was currently, and very calmly, resting on the antlers of the current herd leader, Rikumaru.

If he weren't a suspicious, intelligent man, he might have passed it off as a one time, strange but not necessarily unbelievable, occurrence. As it was, he hadn't had _that_ much to drink and he knew damn well it wasn't natural. He was also pretty sure it was the same hawk from yesterday. And the day before. And the week before that. Always resting calmly on the top most prong, preening as if there was nothing remotely unnatural about what it was doing.

So, naturally, and it was a perfectly natural thing for a ninja to do, he investigated. When he strolled lazily up to the deer, stopping only a few feet away, and neither animal startled, that feeling that something just wasn't quite right solidified.

The buck blinked at him. The hawk stopped its preening, cocked its head, and stared at him. Hell, he could almost hear them commenting to each other about his interruption.

It was too early for this.

Shikaku put his hands in his vest, face impassive. "Well? Care to tell me your secrets?"

The buck blinked at him again. The hawk continued to stare.

"How troublesome." He ran a hand lazily through his hair, tilting his head ever so slightly. To continue talking or to go about his day? Did nin-birds exist? Hell, while he was at it, did nin-deer?

He needed a nap.

He sighed, shoulders dropping deceptively just as his eyes sharpened. "If you're ever interested in sharing, I'll be playing shogi on the porch. I'm sure you'll figure out which house it is." With that, he straightened, turned his back on the strange pair, and walked sedately back to his house. He'd even put out something for the bird to land on, just for the hell of it. Why not?

Within ten minutes of sitting down to that game of shogi, the hawk landed on said post and proceeded, again, to stare at him, head cocked to the side so it got a full view of his position.

Scratch the nap, he needed a drink.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These shorts follow a pattern: a chapter of character interaction followed by an introspection chapter.

4.

Harriet's curiosity had finally gotten the best of her. So, after just under a decade of avoiding them, she finally began scouting out hidden villages. Not that they were easy to find mind you but they weren't exactly difficult for _her_ to find.

Her point of interest today was Kumogakure no Sato.

The village itself was located high in the mountains, _literally_ hidden by clouds, which matched the kanji used to represent it rather aptly, in a space filled with rocky cliffs, spires, and plateaus deep within the mountain ranges of the Land of Lightening.

The village proper was spread out amongst the ground surrounding, what had to be, the man – or chakra – made bases of the large rock formations. Above, there were several domes and glass outcroppings with wooden walkways puncturing the spires themselves, with splashes of color here and there. Below, with shops and homes built into or extending from the rock wall and tents with vendors lining the streets, it was sometimes hard to tell but the village was very lively, civilians and shinobi alike not exactly filling the streets but engaging in enthusiastic conversation.

To top it all off, there was also a rather blue, egg shaped dome … thingy that stood out and above the rest of the village (or was it more appropriate to call it a city?).

It was in the trees sitting on top of the blue egg structure thingy that Harriet settled in to review her game plan. She wasn't sure if she actually wanted to interact with the inhabitants of the city (because it was certainly bigger than a village) just yet. For now, she just planned to observe and make her decision depending on the results.

Unfortunately, the layout and rocky nature of the city made observation difficult for her to do in her animagus form. There were birds around, sure, but there simply did not seem to be enough birds of prey, of her type and size, to be found in these parts. For now, she'd have to settle for a day or two of observation, which her keen eyes were particularly good for. As long as she got a feel for the color scheme and layout of the city, she was sure she could come back later and attempt to infiltrate the city from above using her broom, the cloak, some silencing spells, and simple transfiguration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts on tags? Still learning this whole tagging thing...


	5. Chapter 5

5.

Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage, was past the point of desperate and getting slightly more dead by the second. He couldn't really put it off any longer. Gritting his teeth, he mustered the last of his energy. "Hakke Fuuin." And then nothing.

Or, well, so he'd been expecting.

He'd known going into it that if he used the Dead Demon Consuming Seal to seal the Nine-tails' yin chakra, his soul would be consumed by the Shinigami, doomed to fight with the victim of the seal for all eternity. Given a chance to do it over, would he do it again? For his village? For his son? Yes, he would, in a heartbeat.

At the moment, however, that wasn't exactly the point under discussion.

"Are you listening?"

He blinked, slowly taking in the near white surroundings and the young woman in front of him. "… yes?" Minato focused in on her serious face.

"Right, well technically, this isn't exactly the type of thing you can just get away with, but, well, since I'm around, I'm not entirely sure I can let it stand as is."

"…" Minato wasn't sure what to say, not that it seemed she really needed much of a response from him other than an acknowledging nod.

"However, rituals being as they are, and given how you _did_ promise your soul in this particular ritual, I can't really let your soul go free. This type of help is _expensive_ , you understand?"

"…Yes." Who was this woman?

"Good. That means we can skip all the pleasantries. Now, what exactly were you hoping to accomplish with all of this? I mean really, you called _Death_ of all beings to help you?"

"There weren't very many options. I had to stop and seal the kyuubi. If not – "

" – thousands would have died, yes, I know. But why did you call on _Death_? And before you answer, know that this could very well make or break how less unhappy you'll be spending the rest of eternity."

Minato took a moment to think, images of all of his friends, fallen comrades, and of the village of the leaf, thriving, crossing his mind in a flash. How could he put all of that into words?

"You don't have to."

The white space transformed into a dock surrounded in mild darkness, a clearly waiting boat ready to sail sitting under a single lit lamp, flame flickering slighting in the non-existent wind.

"Just remember, I don't always offer this but if you take the boat you won't be locked in eternal battle for the rest of your undead life. Instead, you'll be able to roam the other astral planes as needed. You won't be in the Pure Land per se but hey, it's better than the Shinigami's twisted version of eternal damnation."

The woman disappeared into the ether and Minato, the Yondaime Hokage, after only a moment's hesitation, put aside the question of the woman's identity and quietly boarded the boat.

There was a chance, even if it was a small one, that Kushina was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did kind of want to save Minato but the fact is that he completed what amounted to a ritual and promised his soul. So the question becomes: can the MOD override powerful rituals where something is received for something freely given? I'm honestly not sold on that. Sure, she could have interrupted the ritual but she wasn't necessarily there to do so. Opinions?


	6. Chapter 6

6.

Hari was apparently getting something of a reputation amongst the rogue ninja. She wasn't sure she appreciated the attention. That being said, income was income and when they couldn't pay upfront, she had no problem dealing in equivalent exchange – as long as the ninja paid up when asked. Most did but then again most paid in ryo after the first few ninja had refused to pay the piper.

That alone apparently made her worth remembering. The whole traveling healer that didn't care if you had a slash through your headband or not thing was note worthy enough but the fact she could take care of business if required only added to her apparent enigmatic self. That no one knew how she could track a nuke-nin down or how she was able to 'settle their debts' only added to the apparent mystery.

She really wasn't sure she understood what the mystery was. She dealt in what amounted to sneaky ninja renegades, wouldn't it make sense that she could be sneaky ninjaesque on occasion too?

By now, all the sneaky nuke-nin knew that the small wooden tokens with the sign of the deathly hallows that she hung from trees around a given area meant she was around. They also knew she tended to avoid large villages. How they knew, she wasn't quite sure. She was sure, however, that they didn't know why. Maybe they thought she was a rogue ninja herself?

'And so the mystery continues to build.'

Harriet snorted. As if.

She was simply too old to put up with someone else ordering her around, much less too much of a healer to go around killing people for a living. Not that she couldn't defend herself. She didn't move as (seemingly) fast as these ninjas but she'd picked up a 'taijutsu' style or two herself over her many years of (dimension?) traveling.

Not to mention magic. Glorious magic. And years (decades) of perfecting quick, soundless apparition.

Now that she thought about it, the whole magic thing might be another part of her mysterious self. In addition to the fact she had no apparent motives for helping nuke-nin to begin with, she had no apparent chakra network. Zilch. Yet she was still able to treat chakra exhaustion and other chakra related … incidents (she never really asked) with something that at least looked like chakra. Honestly, the whole chakra thing was overrated in her opinion. All it did was cause problems.

Moving on, it wasn't like she set out to become a nuke-nin healer on purpose. Really. Just about the time she realized Death was keeping her around for some reason, she'd also realized there was a decided lack of medical anything near any of the villages she stopped in. So, following the profession she'd managed to pick up over the years, she started in on understanding local herb lore and chakra networks.

It helped that the appropriate books o so conveniently began appearing in her tent.

From there, she'd moved on to the practical side when she'd come across that first nuke-nin near bleeding out in the middle of a forest. She'd been wearing a short sleeved traveling kimono so she imagined that was how the deathly hallows symbol tattooed on her wrist became her call sign. After that, they'd just kept seeking her out.

Initially, it had been rather annoying. But, again, money was money and she didn't particularly fancy living off rabbits and other small game for the foreseeable future. Been there, done that. So really, it came down to a simple question: was the reputation worth it?


	7. Chapter 7

7.

Kakashi was looking for a particular book. Honestly, he may have been a bit young to read the book he had in mind but who in their right mind would deny a ninja some harmless reading? He continued to peruse the shelf. At the end of his perusal, he'd actually found several books, one of which was a new 'romance' novel that appeared to have been published a few years back. The clerk at the counter gave him a look at his choices but again, what kind of civilian questioned a trained killer about their reading choices? Most were simply amazed ninja read. Huh.

He quickly shunshined to a remote training ground to enjoy his purchases in private. Or so he presumed. 'Maa, it's just a bird.' A hawk of some sort. Actually, he wasn't all that familiar with bird species but this one seemed rather large. And attentive. And not startled in the least when he just suddenly appeared. He feigned a relaxed manner and went about his business. The romance novel first, best to get it out of the way. It had, after all, been a more spur of the moment choice, intended to relax the mind for some of the more serious reading he would be doing later.

Once he started, he couldn't stop. In fact, he was so engrossed, he'd forgotten about the bird until it was suddenly sitting on the branch just over his right shoulder. He stared at it. There was something definitely off with the bird. 'Aww, how to best go about this.' He eye smiled at the bird for good measure.

It looked unimpressed. Actually, it looked annoyed. Ruffling its feathers, the bird clicked 'her? his?' beak impatiently. Kakashi tilted his head. The bird shuffled to the side and clicked its beak again. Then, with a deliberateness that, if he was honest, somewhat unnerved him, looked from him to the book.

Kakashi looked from the bird to the book and back to the bird before he went on a hunch and turned the page. The bird stared intently back at the book through its right eye before clicking again. "Maa, there now, I haven't read that page yet." He went back to reading, now deliberately tracking the bird's movements. Whenever he lingered too long on a particular page, she, 'definitely a she', clicked at him and wouldn't stop generally harassing him until he turned the page.

He'd have to look into this further. For now, the bird was suspicious, yes, but he had to admit she had great taste. Why interrupt their companionable reading time?


	8. Chapter 8

8.

Harriet wasn't much for drinking but onsen? She could get behind onsen. There was nothing like a hot spring to relax wound up nerves and muscles. It. Was. Glorious. Why the hell hadn't she known about this before? Did other peoples have this kind of thing or was it unique to the Elemental Countries? Because HOT DAMN it was wonderful.

She could even put up with the prices and the whole going into a village thing. Naturally, she couldn't do it often but now that she knew about it? She'd make sure to inquire at any village she did stop in if they had one. Hopefully it wasn't a thing unique to the area. She'd have to leave the area eventually and she'd hate to have to give this up.

Sigh. Times like this she really hated Death. Morgana's saggy tits, the whole aging slow as bluggering hell thing was really not helping. At all. It was part of the reason she avoided villages so much. She really couldn't see herself settling down in one, because small town gossip was a hell of a drug, but she would really appreciate the option.

Particularly now that she'd discovered hot springs. _Bliss._

She settled deeper into the water.

Sigh. She had to be fair. She still hated Death, yes, but the settling down part wasn't really the issue. The issue was the whole forming connections part, then having to have to leave, sometimes quite suddenly and without her say so or any form of a polite warning.

For glorious, glorious onsen though? She'd stick around as long as she could. The Land of Hot Water had a hell of a lot going for it after all. It was more a question of when people would start noticing how often she was hanging around, not aging and not answering questions.

She basked in the heat and made a sound of contentment.

F* it. She'd stick around as long as she damn well pleased.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

Itachi needed a healer. His failing eyesight aside, he was having increasing difficulty breathing. He was hesitant to mention as much to Kisame or any Akatsuki member for that matter. He had overheard Hidan grumbling, in a near worshiping way, about a semi-well known nuke-nin healer however. Kakuzu had even been happy with her services, which had particularly spiked his interest.

She had a tendency to travel so tracking her down could be difficult. But, apparently, if he ever saw the sign of Jashin with a line down the center, generally one token hanging from a partial triangle indicating a 60 degree angle toward the next token, he only had to triangulate the signs to find her shelter in the center.

He was in Grass when he finally saw the symbol. He'd almost missed it: a small wooden token with the healer's chosen symbol hanging from a slight stick with a twig broken into an angle just barely visible over the high grasses. He tried to sense her chakra signature but was surprised to find he couldn't. So he sought out the next wooden token, then another, and calmly proceeded to walk to the spot at the center, where he indeed found a lean to shelter hidden under one of Grasses' few trees – a tree that he had not been able to see until he was within a hundred feet of it.

'A genjutsu?'

Before he had time to ponder the possibilities further, a young foreigner exited the shelter as he stepped just within view of the tree. Meeting his eyes, she finished tying off a field apron over her dark green traveling kimono. Then, she tilted her head to the side and stared at him. After a while, she broke the silence with a slightly accented, "Well? I can't help you if you don't tell or show me why you're here. Much less if you continue to stand way over there."

Itachi considered her a bit longer. She was curious in that she was an obvious foreigner that possessed no chakra that he could sense and possessed no visible weapons. 'How could she be so bold as to invite a nuke-nin to approach her fully armed?' It was foolish. But honestly, it had been his curiosity that had driven him here rather than his desire to test her defenses. For now, he would approach another fifty feet but remain weary. She had to have a way to defend herself if she could suppress her chakra so completely and trade with nuke-nin.

"I need a healer."

"So I gathered. For what?"

Itachi's poorly, or aptly, timed coughing did the talking for him.

"Ah." She dipped back into the lean-to, going further in than she should have been able to, and pulled a set of stools out, closing the distance and placing them close together in front of him. "Nice cloak. Remove it and come have a seat. I need to take a look/listen at your lungs."

Itachi, still on alert and confident he could handle the strangely confident woman if it came to it, removed his cloak and took a seat. She quickly sat across from him and waved a glowing palm over his chest and then reached around to wave another hand over both sides of his back, frowning. As she did so, Itachi, frowning ever so slightly, noticed that her chakra levels hadn't spiked even though the quality of air and color surrounding her palms indicated otherwise.

Her delicate features formed a concerned frown as she turned back to look him in the eye, the not-chakra leaving her hands. "This is quite advanced. Have you seen any other healers or Iryo-nin?"

Itachi stared at her, his hitai-ate on full display. She huffed. "Right. Well, it's bad. I can do some damage control but I don't think you'll ever fully recover the damage to your lungs or your eyes for that matter."

That was acceptable. He only needed to stay alive long enough for Sasuke to take his revenge. He nodded his head sharply.

She nodded her head curtly in return. "I'll warn you now then: I don't care about who you are or why you left your village. However, I do care who you share information with regarding my aiding you."

The warning was clear, even if how she planned to enforce it wasn't. "I understand. Do what you can."

"Right. Now, how do plan on paying?"


	10. Chapter 10

10.

The Land of Lightening had some rather beautiful mountain ranges and coastal vistas. In some parts, you could look out and see nothing but mountains, wisps of mist, and flowing rivers in all directions. And from just above the clouds, Harriet could see the sun rise over the very tops of the mountains in stunning displays of color that she could only truly appreciate sitting atop of her broom.

It was, however, a bit stormy. On that point, she was thankful for three things. One, while it was stormy, it wasn't necessarily _rainy_ , which was a blessing.

Rain was distressing.

No, here in Lightening country, the storm clouds gathered and the sky lit up in brilliant displays of light cutting across the sky, the sound of distant or not so distant thunder an additional layer of sound to the symphony produced by the mountains.

The second thing she was grateful for happened to be the fact that she'd finally, finally gotten her magic properly under control. Unfortunately, it had become temperamental on her with this latest jump. There was always something for her to adjust to and it seemed here her body had tried to compensate for her lack of chakra by reworking the pathways by which her own magic spread throughout her body.

It had mostly been a rather itchy thing a first but then it had become _finicky_. In the end, she'd found that she no longer had use for her wand, either of her wands, regardless of how tempted she was to use them, but had to be more precise in imagining what she wanted accomplished.

It had also made silent casting a hell of a lot easier, when she'd started experimenting with it, even if she wasn't entirely sure why.

The third, and most important, thing she was grateful for was the fact that the storminess of Lightening was offset, rather wondrously, by the presence of naturally occurring hot springs throughout the country. Onsen, glorious onsen. And there were so few villages around that she could travel the area, and visit the more isolated onsen, in relative ease without being asked too many questions. Of course, that also came with its own problems, namely a distinct distrust of outsiders, but that could be cleared up after a few good visits.

She'd have to pin down a good area to set up shop though, all the mountains likely made it easy for nuke-nin to hide out, which meant a higher likelihood of additional customers. She preferred serving the villages she passed through, sure, but nuke-nin had the better gossip.

So she was getting bored of seeing small village after small village, what of it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, no there will be no pairings. This is due to the nature of Harriet's so-called traveling. While you don't have to read 'An Unexpected Development' first, it's established there that Harriet's a bit of a dimension hopper and she can't control when Death suddenly decides her time in any given reality is 'up' or how or when (or in what order) she lands somewhere. As such, she's generally at the point where making deep connections (to people or places) could be considered hazardous to her mental health. This story plays off all of the above.


	11. Chapter 11

11.

The Sandaime Hokage had by now received several reports about a mysterious nin-hawk, possibly an enemy summons, scouting his beloved Konohagakure, popping up around the outskirts of the village and silently disappearing when and as it pleased, sometimes for days, sometimes for months. That was worrying and suspicious in and of itself, but it was never actually observed doing anything suspicious other than being itself. In fact, the only strange things about the hawk were the facts that it seemed to seek out the company of the Nara deer and Hatake Kakashi, although it sometimes interacted with Nara Shikaku as well.

That the hawk shamelessly enjoyed reading Hatake's … eclectic … taste in literature directly contrasted the level of intelligence the Nara stated the bird possessed. That being said, the fact Shikaku, over a matter of months, had devised a system of taps, clicks, and wing movements for the bird to play shogi with him was as ingenious as it was worrisome. If he didn't know both men were of sound mind (cracked, yes, but who survived to Jonin that wasn't?), he'd dismiss the reports completely. As it was, if two of his best shinobi were also repeatedly reporting the same potential security risk, for years now, he had to take it seriously.

So, what to do about the reports?

Shikaku had personally suggested that he put a bird rest in his office, make a formal request for its presence at a particular time, and wait to see if it showed up. It was as ridiculous as it sounded yet it was just as likely to have the desired effect as doing nothing at all or, kami forbid, him sending a team to try to capture a hawk with no distinguishing marks to identify it.

So, he wrote a quick note to the Nara to communicate his … request… for a meeting with the bird at 3pm the day following its next game of Shogi with Shikaku, then called a runner in to deliver the note.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, God of Shinobi, Third Hokage of Konoha, and one of the most respected Kage alive, sighed. This was a new low.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

By now, Harriet had learned that the elemental countries were aptly named. The Land of Rain? Rainy. The Land of Rivers? Full of Rivers. The Land of Wind? Windy. The Land of Lightening? Had some beautiful lightening displays. Water? She was willing to bet her Gringots account it was surrounded by water, probably a bunch of islands too.

What she hadn't known was that the naming scheme actually had more to do with the whole chakra nonsense and how it operated. Apparently, chakra, which she was only just beginning to truly appreciate the applications of, had natures. Which also explained why the countries were collectively referred to as the elemental countries. It made sense because, really, countries like the Land of Fire weren't literally on fire, which she rather enjoyed.

What she didn't particularly enjoy about the Land of Fire was that they didn't have very many nuke-nin running around, unlike the Land of Lightning. Merlin, did Kumo produce nuke-nin. But Konoha? Apparently not so much. What was she supposed to do for income there? How would she pass her time? Did they have bathhouses with onsen?

Speaking of onsen, the Land of Grass sure enough didn't have any. To be fair though, it was the Land of Grass. While sufficient water to maintain a healthy plain was implied, it didn't suggest overwhelming reserves of glorious pools of natural hot water. Of course, she could actually try entering a town or city large enough to have bathhouses to find out for sure but she wasn't ready for that just yet.

Wait, she was rambling. What had she been thinking about? Right. The naming scheme. And chakra natures. Which leads to jutsus, which leads to how useful learning to imitate some would be, which leads to finding a new batch of 'clients' to leverage information out of.

She paused and took stock of her surroundings. This would be as good a place as any to set up shop and wait. There was always at least one renegade shinobi that managed to find her. Maybe Death was helping her? How morbid.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

The day Harriet discovered there might be something different about the general populace of her new home started off relatively normal. She'd just packed up and shrunk her tent when next thing she knew there was bloody steel flying in her general direction. Her war honed reflexes kicked in and she managed to dodge just in time.

The small metal circular pointy thing thudded quietly in the tree behind her and she had just enough time to realize there were more flying through the air around her area before she began reacting. She needed to get to safety.

Lying in the dirt, however, seemed like a bad idea so she chose to soundlessly _jump_ (read apparate in a very death eater fashion but faster) behind the tree the last sharp metal thingy had hit. If she was the target, then the items would follow and she would go from there.

Thankfully, they didn't. What did follow was a series of shouts though, from multiple sources, relatively nearby that she simply couldn't understand.

Then the smell of sulfur hit her.

Something about this whole thing felt off. So she wasn't the target but _someone_ was.

To investigate or not to investigate? To help or not to help?

When the shouts became more distant, she followed the trail of glinting metal and light destruction, staying in a low crouch, darting from tree to tree until she reached the edge of the tree line.

That wall of earth had most definitely not been there last night.

Making a quick decision, she muffled her footsteps and pulled on her cloak; not knowing if the confrontation was truly over, it was better to be cautious. She _jumped_ once more behind the recently raised wall of earth and edged to the left until she could just peek around the side, hoping to avoid any more bits of flying steel.

The figures in the distance were moving just faster than her seeker trained eyes allowed her to follow. And there was that sulfur smell again.

Then a realization hit her: 'Bloody hell, is blur one covered in _lightening_?!'

As she watched, blur one threw lightening bolts at, pardon the usage, lightening speed that blur two and three attempted to counter with … was that moving _earth_? Did that blur just shoot out _from the ground?_

Merlin _Bless_ , who were these people?! What in the Morgana's hell had Death gotten her into now?!

Just as she thought she was coming to terms with what was going on before her, lightening lit up the sky and struck the ground in wide, racing arcs with extreme prejudice.

The earth attacks stopped.

No, no she was not going to investigate further. She was going to stay right where she was until she was sure the surviving blur had plenty of time to leave the field of destruction and, likely, the dead bodies of its enemies behind.


	14. Chapter 14

14.

The Land of Earth was… full of rocks. It was better than the Land of Wind sure but … well, it was rather dull in its own way. And rocky. Lots of rocks. Everywhere. She was sure the whole place wasn't as rocky as this section of the country was but she was currently having a hard time imagining it.

Earth did have its own points of interest though. Case in point:

A young man with epic red hair, the makings of a full box beard (give it a few years and you'll be epic too), what appeared to be armor, and the best King Trident forehead protector she'd ever seen – in fact, it was the only one she'd ever seen.

Kudos.

But the young man stood out in another way too.

"You realize something is living inside of you right? And, as male as you are, I don't mean the happy bundle of joy type."

"I know. Get on with it already."

Harriet raised an eyebrow. "There's a being of unknown power held inside of your gut, apparently only by an epic set of squiggly lines, and you're okay with it?"

"It's been there for a while." He tensed. "Is it going to be a problem?"

Harriet stared at him for a moment more, then shrugged. "Well, if it doesn't bother you…sure. I can live with that." She rubbed her hands together. "Now, how did you hear about me, how are you planning to pay, and what do you need? In that order please."

"I heard from a less than reputable source that you can track down missing people and information. I was told it was best to pay in ryo but I've got a few other things I can offer in trade if it's not enough. And I'm looking for someone who can help me tap into my passenger's power."

"Well, that's dangerous. You sure?"

"Quite."

"Well, then, let's see what I can do. I'll take the ryo as a down payment. If I decide it'll cost more, I'll find you again. Until then, give me the specifics and I'll track you down when I have an answer for you, as long as you don't live in a hidden village."

"And if I do?"

"We'll have some issues. I don't do hidden villages. My loyalty is to me and myself. Don't like it, no deal."

"… How long do you think it'll take?"

"Depends. At most a week to find the information, a month to understand it, up to another month to get it all legibly on a scroll you'll find useful, and up to another week to find you. It really just depends on how busy I am and where I find myself when I'm done."

"I'll make sure to take a mission outside of the village in two months then. Hand over what you find by then, and I'll fork over the rest."

"And what do you plan on paying the balance with? Ryo isn't the end all be all."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "I'm sure I can find some scrolls of interest to you."

"I don't need scrolls or trade deals. What else?"

The young man frowned. "What else will you take?"

"Representation." There was nothing like accumulating favors. "If I ever find myself in your hidden village, I expect you to vouch for me without questions."

He narrowed his eyes. "I can't promise that. You make a living off of helping nuke-nin."

Harriet shrugged. "I'm also willing to help you with something I doubt you'd get help with from anyone else."

"How do I know the information will be worth it?"

"I'll give you a chance to preview. No more. Deal or no deal?"

He thought hard for several minutes as Harriet watched him patiently.

"Deal."


	15. Chapter 15

15.

Dogs. Her favorite, read only, reading buddy had dogs. How cute. It maybe, just perhaps, explained why he had such a strong sense of smell. She was pretty sure that was why he covered his face. Well, she was pretty sure it was at least one of the reasons he covered his lower face. She couldn't be too sure. She also couldn't think of a reason a ninja, and he was most definitely a ninja, would cover one of his eyes.

Unless it wasn't there anymore. Yeesh, talk about crap luck, and so young too.

She did know he had a great sense of smell though. She had been rather high up in the tree that one time he had been quite late to their reading date. She had also been quite disillusioned. She was sure of it.

Yet he'd still known she was there, just like that human-dog pair had known she was there even when she'd made darn sure no normal human could find any trace of her.

But that was in the past.

At the moment, she was just curious where the dogs had come from. A simple bite of the thumb, bloody thumb to the ground, then poof! Dogs.

They had their own form of non-ritual blood magic here? Huh. And here she thought all that jutsu nonsense was limited to pure chakra usage and damning agreements with Death.

"What's up Boss?"

Wait, the dog could talk? Curiouser and curiouser. She flitted down to a lower branch.

In response, the young man, who had grown over the near year and a half they had come to know each other, squatted down, running a hand over his wild shock of white hair.

And by the way, what kind of nonsense was he getting up to that he had a full head of white hair already?

"Well, you see, there's this bird." Cue finger pointed behind his head directly to her spot. Should she be surprised he had great situational awareness? She really wasn't at this point. Ninja. "She's quite nice."

"Right, so why we here boss?"

Two of the dogs could talk? Could they all talk?

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about nin-hawks, would you?"

Harriet resisted the urge to cock her head. What was a nin-hawk?


	16. Chapter 16

16.

By the time Harriet had been caught in another strange battle between one set of blurs and another, she'd learned a bit of the lingo from a couple of her customers.

All the strange words they were shouting out? Jutsus. What the hell were Jutsus? Mystical arts that molded a ninja's chakra into a battle technique. How the hell did they do that? They mixed the two chakra energies (that apparently everyone but her had) as necessary and used hand seals to manifest the technique. How many jutsus were in the world? Well, technically, there are an extensive number of hand seals and different combinations so really there are thousands of jutsus with the potential to discover even more. And why the hell did they need to be shouted out? Concentration technique.

What was a medical ninja called? (She'd received a rather strange look at this) An Iryō-nin. Were iryō-nin ninjas too? Yes, yes they were. However, they rarely engage in battle because who would heal the other ninjas if they got injured? Were there any iryō-nin that were also nuke-nin? One or two over the last couple of decades but they were rare given how well treated and loyal they tended to be. Did they only live in hidden villages? Generally. However, there was this one that lived up on a mountain somewhere but she's rumored to be affiliated with Konohagakure.

So this time, when the blurs stopped and she decided it was high time she participated in this reality, she ran out to help the survivors, who honestly looked about ready to keel over themselves.

She slowed her approach when she got closer, raising her hands in the universal sign of 'unarmed' and 'I come in peace.' The two still standing, slightly crouched and ready to fight, with one obviously bleeding from several places, eyed her as she slowly dropped her pack and began pulling out water containers and bandages, holding them clearly in front of her. The one that looked less like he was going to keel over at any moment nodded his head, then pointed at one of the three on the ground.

She rushed over to the closest and began her ABCs of first aid, simultaneously checking for wounds, exit wounds, and punctures.

Just when she was sure he was alive and not bleeding out (too much), she noticed the tell tale signs of chakra usage coming from what had to be a fellow medic. Huh, lucky her (or was Death helping her out? cause her luck was never this good), the winning team of ninjas this time around had an iryō-nin with them.

She quickly, and unobtrusively, observed what he was doing with his glowing chakra hands while she dashed over to the other fallen ninja. This one was a bit closer to death's door, so she made a quick decision not to draw too much attention to herself and began quietly healing and bandaging the most pressing wounds just enough to keep him alive.

Then she rushed back to her pack and began pulling out pre-mixed herbs and salves (you never knew when a nuke-nin was going to drop in, better to be prepared), and dashed back to the first ninja.

Of course the exhausted other ninja took offense to her introducing a foreign substance to his fallen comrade. She rolled her eyes and made a show of putting a bit of each paste in her mouth and swallowing. Natural, edible herbs they may be, but yuck! He relaxed slightly at this and let her continue.

It took a while, but when she and the other ninja were done, all five of the combatants, including the three injured ones, looked like they would live and recover with some rest.

Harriet sat back on her heels and wiped her forehead. As an added bonus, she had been able to observe the medic at work. 'I'll have to work that glowing palm nonsense into my routine.'

"Thanks. Now who the hell are you?"

Harriet scowled. How rude!


	17. Chapter 17

17.

Harriet had seen a lot in her time. Quite a lot. But nothing in that long history quite compared to the ninja she semi-regularly came across over the course of her travels. Really. The whole chakra thing aside, they were a truly special lot. First the headbands, then it was the rainbow and gravity defying hair, and now it was the face markings? Who _were_ these people? AND WHY WAS IT ALWAYS RAINING?!

She was most displeased.

Not about the ninjas per se. No, she was getting used to their weirdness. Apparently, ninja was synonymous with quirky or perhaps it was just a thing amongst nuke-nin? She wasn't sure and she had no real desire to ask. The 'no questions asked' part was part of what made her so popular, no need to mess with a good thing. She also didn't think someone with a reputation of helping nuke-nin, and who couldn't be bothered to get a proper set of papers, could just walk into a ninja village willy-nilly and start asking potentially uncomfortable questions.

She really didn't need or want the drama that being labeled a spy would bring. Nope, no thank you.

What she did need was an umbrella. _The third this week._ She was quite done with it. Even wearing her warmest kimono, long sleeved undershirts and leggings, and a bloody scarf, and merlin damned _layers_ of warming and water repelling charms, she was _still_ cold - because it _never_ stopped raining and it was doing funny things to her mind.

So that may be a slight over exaggeration. Still. A straw hat and oiled cloak simply didn't keep the off water she was imagining rolling down her neck or the sense of soggy clothes that just kept rubbing in an imaginary fashion against her senses.

She was done.

Ame may have its fair share of nuke-nin customers running around - there was a minor civil war going on after all - but it simply wasn't worth wearing the rebreather her last customer had favored and suggested she invest in.

Later she would look back on the 'Ame Experience' as the start of her distress toward any event that resulted in water falling from the sky. She'd certainly not had this problem in Lightening. Well, not to this extent anyway.


	18. Chapter 18

18.

The Sandaime Hokage was having a typical day in the office. There were some new reports, some old reports, some shinobi who gave their reports, others who reported in for special assignments. Lots of reports and reporting.

And of course, there was also the paperwork. There was always paperwork. 

'The things they don't tell you before you get the hat.' 

But really, what else should he have expected? It wasn't always about making war and attempting to subdue other Kages to your will after all. And no one was as good as the Fourth had been at defeating the piles of paperwork.

He had high expectations for today though. In fact, there had been no crises (yet), the council hadn't picked a bigger fight than normal, the clans were behaving more or less how they always behaved, the civilians were in generally good spirits, and the paperwork on his desk was minimal. So, all in all, it was shaping up to be a good day.

Then, a hawk swooped through his open window and made itself comfortable on the stand that he had placed in his office per Shikaku's suggestion.

For a time, all he could do was stare in mild disbelief.

Shikaku had stated that he'd passed the message he had finally crafted on to the bird yesterday morning, yes, but he still hadn't quite believed that the bird would show up.

Hiruzen looked at the clock to buy some time. It was 2:55: not yet three sure but it was near on time. Why was he so surprised? Hatake had vouched for the bird's ability to read and if it could both read and play a decent game of shogi with the Nara clan head, it had to be intelligent enough to read a clock, regardless of how unnatural that seemed.

He leaned back in his chair, turned slightly to face the bird on the rest just off to the side of his desk, arms resting on the armrests.

"Well, so you do exist." He was glad he'd told his secretary he had an appointment from three to three thirty in the off chance something like this actually occurred. He'd even invited Shikaku, who'd be exactly on time, and Hatake, who'd more than likely be an hour or two late.

Thankfully, no one could really ask what the meeting was about because how was he supposed to explain having a conference with a bird?


	19. Chapter 19

19.

Hari didn't care for Wind Country. Too dry, too literally windy; wrecked havoc on her hair. Not that anyone would be able to tell. The white burnoose she was wearing covered nearly all of her face and shoulders, wrapped as it was. What the burnoose didn't cover, the dark purple cloth covering her face, and allowing her to breathe in air that wasn't saturated in sand, covered up all but her eyes. Not to be left out, as proper eye care was important, her startlingly green eyes were covered by tinted goggles. Overkill? Perhaps. But two days of going without had solved that dilemma.

The next dilemma she was still in the process of solving? Now that she'd found herself in what amounted to a desert masquerading as a country, she couldn't find her way out. Map of the elemental countries? Only worked if you knew where. The Hell. You. Were. Point me spell? Needed something to point to. Well, that was a technicality. She knew she'd entered from the east, so theoretically if she just kept using the spell to point her north, she'd escape.

Until then, there was sand. Lots of sand. Did she mention the wind, the dry, dry wind? She really wasn't the type to truly appreciate the beauty of a dry desert landscape. On the plus side, she now knew this to be a fact whereas before it had only been a guess.

Something else she didn't appreciate? Desert fashion. The goggles were starting to dig in a bit and wearing what amounted to robes all day everyday wasn't exactly her _thing_ , you know?

She wondered if the Land of Rain would be just a literal as the Land of Wind turned out to be? If so, she could pass through and be on her way. Really. Restock, then continue north east into Grass. Yeah, that sounded like a plan.

Now, time to make use of her broom to get the hell out of the desert.


	20. Chapter 20

20.

Child soldiers. They were training child soldiers! Bloody children! And no one seemed to question it! What the bloody hell was wrong with these people!

Torn between immense shock and righteous anger, she took the moment to sit down on a bench. The shop it was connected to, like most shops in Iwa, was built into the rock and stone of the village's raising towers. But her surroundings meant very little to Harriet at the moment.

"Do you plan on buying anything?" a rather gruff voice asked.

The question barely registered.

"Hey, lady, if you're not going to buy anything, you can't just sit there."

"Doesn't it bother you?" Harriet's face twisted into one of mild disgust as she turned to face the shopkeep.

Taken off guard, the man stopped to give her a careful look over. "Doesn't what bother me?"

"The fact that the village is training children to kill. Doesn't it _bother_ you?"

The shop keeper, a somewhat middle aged man with a missing forearm, clearly somewhat confused by the intensity of the question, answered with a question of his own: "No? Why should it?"

Harriet's mouth hung open, as all of her memories of effectively being the magical version of a child soldier herself came to the fore, she could only look on with open mouthed horror.

"They're children!" she whisper shouted.

He sighed, looking mildly annoyed. "Look lady, when they chose to become shinobi they knew what they were getting into."

"A child can't possibly comprehend what taking another life means!"

The man, resigned, and clearly not otherwise engaged, took a seat on the bench next to her. "You're a civilian so I don't expect that you'll understand but that's why they start training so early. It improves their chances of survival by instilling them with the skills and discipline necessary to succeed."

Harriet studied his face, still sick at the thought of training children _to kill_ , and came to a realization. "You're one of them."

"Was." He waved what remained of his left arm.

"And knowing that the same injury could come to a child that hasn't even experienced puberty yet doesn't bother you?!"

He gave her a hard look. "I became a shinobi because I wanted to defend my village, because someone had to do it. And I remained a shinobi dedicated to the village because I believed, and still believe, in the Tsuchikage's resolve and will to make this village great. Considering it's shinobi like those children and myself that protect the village and civilians like yourself, you should be more grateful." He got up to leave but Harriet grabbed the edge of his tunic.

"Lady," he growled.

"No, wait, just," Harriet took a deep breath. "Look, I wasn't born in Iwagakure and I really don't understand so just, just explain it to me because it's really just not _right_."

The man looked extremely annoyed but sat back down to talk with her regardless.


	21. Chapter 21

21.

Nuke-nin weren't nearly as hard to find as they liked to think.

The point me spell was darn near useless, sure, since they didn't tend to give her a name and she didn't ask. But they did, rather foolishly or with a strange sense of pride, have a habit of announcing to the world they were nuke-nin by still wearing their hitai-ate after they'd defected. They also didn't exactly travel quietly, especially the ones that tended towards raiding and generally harassing the nearby populace. Then there was the fact that some of them were into bounty hunting and frequented certain collection points.

Not all nuke-nin had these habits though. So Harriet relied on her other senses to follow them. Would she perhaps be able to track them down with other methods? Sure. The obvious solution to her nuke-nin related problems would be to exchange healing for the satisfaction of a bounty hunt. But that didn't keep her skills sharp or satisfy her anger at a debt not being paid when she generally needed it.

She hated being played or betrayed.

So, when that first nuke-nin got on the wrong side of her temper, she didn't necessarily go over board (she wasn't an indiscriminate killer, thank you) but she did make sure the rest of the community found his unconscious body at a bounty collection point along with her symbol very clearly painted on his face.

She eventually found out he'd later been so twitchy at ever seeing her again or even hearing her name, that she'd lost a fair few potential customers for awhile. She'd been saddened by the dip in income (she had an onsen habit to sustain) but it was preferable to having to deal with the same situation twice.

Not that it didn't happen a second time. No, some idiot took note of the fact her chakra inspired network of magical power veins looked non-existent and thought he could succeed where his predecessor had failed. That time, she didn't allow him to get five feet before she had him hog tied and hanging from a tree with magic reinforced rope. Then she painted his face, took his bingo book, his clothes, and his sellable supplies, and went about her merry way.

She was sure someone eventually found him given her reputation of collecting debts in strange ways had expanded.

It had been the _fifth_ time it had happened that she'd finally gotten violent. This particular nuke-nin had promised to provide her with a set of forged traveler's papers at a particular time at a particular place. What did she find when she got there? F*ing bounty hunters. Since when did she make it into a bingo book? Or were they just looking to control her?

Either way, she was pissed.

It didn't take much for her to ambush them in turn, letting loose rather viciously and damaging a fair few of them beyond repair. Between the flashing lights with no jutsu name called, the soundless disappearing and reappearing in places where she certainly hadn't been before, and the shear destruction she had purposely left in her wake, the so-called _civilian_ healer suddenly became _dangerous_.

Then she'd tracked down the bastard that'd betrayed her using Death's uniquely accurate ability to identify souls and _handed him over before his time_. She'd left his remains sufficiently nearby the road with her symbol painted on a nearby tree to ensure he was found by _someone_ ; she didn't really care who it was so long as the bingo book got updated and word got around she was getting progressively tired of their shenanigans.

It was this ability of Death, that Harriet later semi-affectionately termed his sense of smell, that Harriet had gradually taken on as something of a sixth sense. And it was this sixth sense that she was currently using to track down her latest target.

Not that anyone had tried to stiff her recently. No, that lesson had been well learned by this point. This was something else, something that had Death itself all up in a bother, something that registered even to her as somewhat unnatural. And somehow with a soul that was in multiple places at the same time.

Horcruxes? Did they have those here? How foul!

What ever it was, large swathes of people were disappearing and it reeked of the same unnaturalness of the soul she was chasing. Given how difficult it was to pin that soul down, and the surprising few leads she was able to get from her other nuke-nin contacts, she was pretty sure it wasn't a village operation, or was no longer a sanctioned village operation, which was interesting in and of itself.

Knowing that helped as it allowed her to mix what she knew through the standard methods with the use of that strange sixth sense to narrow her area of interest to the largest swath of unnaturalness. As a result, she was now currently searching for a base of operations in the general area between the edge of the Land of Fire, Hot Water, and the Hidden Waterfalls Village. She was pretty certain that if she didn't find anything there, she'd have to go back into Konoha territory, the next largest area of unnaturalness, for all that she was relatively certain their Kage wouldn't sanction this level of… perverseness.

She was, however, now almost certain it had something to do with their request that she track down a particular nuke-nin of their own.

She had a name, sure, but no visual and no real information so for now, given that the pieces of her erstwhile target kept moving around in and out of her current area of interest, she was looking for an identifying mark or signature that identified the central piece ... other than that rather snakey smell attached to the soul, which was kinda weird but useful and, once again, kinda fit the profile of that Konoha nuke-nin Ochi- … something or other.

Damn. It might help if she could remember his name…


	22. Chapter 22

22.

Harriet had the worst luck.

"Flame Release: Fire Dragon Bullet!"

Bloody buggering hell. Harriet dodged left, took note of her opponents' positions, _jumped_ mid spin, and reappeared two feet behind the furthest ninja's position.

'Dodge this!' An arc of electric blue light left her right hand just as she reinforced the overpowered _protego_ she'd wrapped around her person with her left. The arc connected with the ninja mid spin, causing him to jolt as the current raced through him.

Even as his body dropped, unconscious, she was moving again. The key to dealing with these ninja was to remain constantly in motion, constantly _jumping_ from location to location.

The remaining ninja was also moving however and had excellent situational and spatial awareness. Using chakra to come at her faster than humanly possible, he aimed a flying knee at her chest, likely looking to engage her in a taijutsu match.

'Like hell I will.'

She had just enough time to dodge the knee even as his fist came within inches of engaging her face in a match it would probably lose. Harriet _jumped_ mid stride again and reappeared higher in the air, now slightly behind her attacker, turning as she fell left heel first to get additional force for her downwards strike.

Sensing her approach, the damn ninja moved ever so slightly and brought a leg up, near vertical the damn flexible bastard, toward her face, _again_. She used magic to _push_ her last second shield forward into said leg, connecting with a sharp pain and an audible crack on his half, then brought her magic hardened right fist down into _his_ face.

'Bloody _hell_ that _hurt._ '

Using her momentum to bring her feet to the falling ninja's chest, she pushed off roughly and landed hard on her feet, simultaneously checking her surroundings. As there were no other apparent threats, she took a moment to breathe. Then quickly set about magically gathering her things, unshrinking her broom, and generally getting the hell out of the area.

Ninja had a nasty habit of recovering or getting reinforcements at the worst possible moments.


	23. Chapter 23

23.

Hiruzen and his Jonin Commander had been having one of their regular discussions when the bird next popped into his office. It had been several months since their last meeting and both men hadn't exactly expected her to return, much less when both of them were in the office at the same time.

Therefore, the sudden entry put both men on edge, not that anyone not looking closely would have been able to tell.

The bird tapped its leg impatiently, a letter held delicately in its claws.

Shikaku got up from his chair in front of the Hokage's desk and lazily approached the bird from the side, allowing the Hokage a full view of the interaction. When he took the letter from the hawk, it quietly shook itself, settled onto the bird rest, and began to preen.

Printed on the front of the letter, written next to each other with a decent space in between, were the kanji for 'Red Hat' and 'Deer.' He gave the hawk a slight smirk in amusement then turned back around and returned to his chair, placing the letter on the desk.

The Hokage reached for it, also gave the bird a somewhat amused look, and proceeded to open the letter.

He read the beautiful calligraphy carefully printed on the paper that didn't match the uneven hand that had printed the characters on the front. It went along the lines of this:

"Greetings. You asked several questions. First, I don't know how to convey this particularly well but I am neither a summons nor am I a spy. It just so happens that I enjoy the company of some of your residents.

Second, no, I am not aligned with any particular hidden village and generally wish to have as little to do with them as possible. Again, it just so happens that I enjoy the company of some of your residents.

Third, yes I can communicate with speech. However, I've never really had need to within the village, I'd prefer not to, and writing is a bit of a challenge, as you may have noticed.

Fourth, I have no intentions toward your village, I just happen to enjoy the company of some of your residents.

Fifth, I would like to continue my acquaintance with your residents. I enjoy their company and, for this reason, I am willing to wear a distinguishing marker if necessary to help you track me.

Finally, no, I will not sign a summoning contract or permanently attach myself to one of your shinobi. While I enjoy the company of the dogs, the dog man, the deer, and the deer man, I do not enjoy ninja. They are strange. Some are stranger than others. However, in trade for your trust, if you ever have a nuke-nin problem, I know someone who can help with that. Just tell the deer to go find 'Po-te-ru san' and she'll see what she can do.

Regards,

Hawk that is not a spy"

Hiruzen looked up from his reading, passed the letter to Shikaku, and sent a rather hard stare at the still preening bird. The letter really didn't help the hawk's case.

Shikaku, however, looked thoughtful when he finished the letter. If the hawk was willing to help with nuke-nin problems, why not take it up on its offer?


	24. Chapter 24

24.

Hari knew the no aging thing would come back to haunt her in some fashion. It was inevitable really; her luck sucked. She really should know better by now but how was she to know Death was planning on keeping her around for a bit? It wasn't like it spoke to her regarding It's travel plans or how she figured into them.

Which, by the way, It really should.

Still, surprise over her extended stay aside, she really shouldn't have gotten complacent.

"Luna-san."

Hari lifted her head up from the cloth the kimono maker had laid out for her and quirked an eyebrow. Hearing her name here in Earth country was actually rather surprising as those that knew her on sight generally referred to her as "healer-san" and quietly proceeded to pay her. Hearing her name spoken in an area where she hadn't done business before, and was publicly perusing wares, was also rather strange.

So, when the presence didn't move immediately, she sent an inquiring look quietly over her shoulder, then sighed; she remembered that crown shaped ridge.

"Rōshi-san," she huffed, turning to face him properly. "I see you're doing well."

"Likewise. It's been nearly ten years hasn't it?"

She gave a firm nod, still smiling politely.

"You haven't aged a day."

Her lips quirked. "Thank you. You've filled out rather well yourself. Been keeping yourself busy?"

"As much as I can."

She supposed his stiff posture, general Iwa shinobi attitude, and folded arms were regularly considered intimidating. So she smiled.

"I suppose you routinely find yourself training these days? Your outfit today certainly looks easier to move around in." She noted the lack of standard issue armor but chose not to comment.

He nodded his head, a slightly suspicious look still on his face. Wait, where had his hitai-ate gone?

"I decided to take a deeper look into that scroll you made me."

Oh, a happy customer. How nice. "I'm glad to hear it. It was quite difficult to put together. How are you getting along?"

"Hmph. Better than I probably would have done without it. Since you're here, I'd like to discuss a few points with you."

Harriet's smile drooped as she sighed again, her eyes turning back to the cloth on display. "I'm really rather in need of a new kimono." She paused as if thinking it over for a bit, then turned back towards him with another smile. "Perhaps I can join you tomorrow? Are you training in this general area?"

He narrowed his eyes. "I am."

"Great! Then I'll join you in the morning."

He continued to eye her suspiciously but quietly nodded his head, gave a solid "I'll see you then," and leisurely moved off.

Harriet followed this action with a small wave of her own toward his back before returning back to the fabric on display. She really should start wearing her necklace, the one with the aging and eye color charms on it.

Had it really been ten years already?


	25. Chapter 25

25.

Hari had seen that particularly eye watering orange jumpsuit before. How could she have not? It was rather distinctive. And there were only so many people of that height willing to wear that bright, _bright_ orange color with blue shoulders and a white collar _often_.

She knew it was a rather foreign concept in these parts but the fashion police should have stopped the poor child years ago. And duly jailed the purveyor of foul goods that had the nerve to actually charge someone for it.

Then again, she didn't know how the child had gotten the jumpsuit in the first place. It could have been a gift – like the dreaded pair of Christmas socks that some grandmothers enjoyed knitting for unappreciative but lovingly patient grandchildren.

He also could very well have found it and decided he liked orange and, being a child, said why the hell not?

Better still, it could have been acquired _because_ it stood out. Only Death knew how both the local law enforcement _and_ the stealthier shinobi managed to miss the kid when he was off painting the sides of houses in orange paint. Maybe the child was tired of them not being able to properly chase him?

Or maybe he was tired of spilling all that orange paint on his clothes and needing to clean up every night? That was actually rather thoughtful for a child of his size though…

Was he old enough to consider it a professional handicap? After all, the subject of a truly good prank shouldn't know they're being pranked until the prankster decides they should and it was certainly harder to run about inconspicuous like when you're a blond kid in a _bright orange_ jumpsuit.

Still.

Really though, the how and why of the jumpsuit was unimportant; the why behind the lack of successful human interaction observed at any point during her travels about Konoha was.

Somehow she knew she wasn't going to like the answer.


	26. Chapter 26

26.

Very little now surprised Nara Shikaku. Talking to one of his deer? Perfectly normal. Death? He was a shinobi. Disease? His clan researched medicines. Giant talking frogs? Boss summons were like that. Intelligent hawks that weren't summons but acted like summons and played a sharp game of shogi? Apparently a thing. Being referred to as the 'Deer Man' by said hawk? Relatively amusing.

The Hokage asking him to ask one of the deer to find someone with a foreign name recommended by a hawk that wrote letters so they could possibly get a nuke-nin problem solved? New but not surprising if you properly considered how things were playing out.

And consider it he had. It was a point of both professional and personal pride that he could consider all of these points objectively from multiple angles and that he could do it well while also formulating contingency plans for each possible scenario.

It was also a point of personal pride that he could run through all the potential possibilities while ever so slightly intoxicated, walk into a forest in search of a herd of deer, one of which he was going to speak to, and still remain a relatively sane and stable Jonin.

He approached the herd at a lazy pace and sedately searched the herd for one deer in particular. 'Found him.'

"Rikumaru." Approaching quietly, he dipped his head in acknowledgement to the herd leader. "I'd like to speak to po-ta-ru san. Can you arrange a meeting?"

The deer stared at him for a long moment, then casually went back to grazing as if Shikaku wasn't there.

Shikaku didn't even raise an eyebrow; there was nothing abnormal about the deer's response. It was a deer.

And, if this Po-te-ru was anything like the hawk, he or she would come when they felt like showing up, regardless of whether or not Rikumaru understood him. In fact, it possible the hawk had set this whole thing up just to see if he would actually go through with its suggestion.

He shrugged, then turned around: there was a good spot nearby where he could take a nap with little chance of being disturbed.


	27. Chapter 27

27.

Now that Harriet knew what to look for, working out chakra networks wasn't quite as difficult as it had seemed.

For the residents of the elemental countries, chakra was life and life was chakra. If you properly understood this concept, and how the two forms of energy were created and combined, you knew the basics of how the typical human body of this particular existence worked. As such, you could move onto actually looking at chakra coils and identifying the chakra pathway system and understanding why that system and those coils were so important.

Likewise, once you understood how the chakra producing organs related to the chakra coils and vice versa, you could understand the role of the eight tenketsu points. If you understood the role of the eight tenketsu points, you could see how chakra flowed out of the body.

All of this was key to understanding chakra exhaustion, blocked or damaged tenketsu, and chakra based healing methods.

That being said, there was something truly special about Roshi's chakra network.

(Of course, he hadn't actually told her his name but when a such a distinct customer made such a distinct request, you dug a little deeper than they were likely comfortable with.)

There wasn't necessarily anything inherently _wrong_ with his chakra network, it was just different… as if there were three sources of energy in his pathways instead of two. The more she thought about it, and the more she reviewed their meeting in her mind, the more she was certain this was true.

But did that third source of energy _belong_ there? Or was it there because his passenger was there? Did he naturally have three sources, which in turn allowed his passenger to 'move in' as it were? Or did his passenger 'move in' on its own?

And if it did, why in Merlin's name did they need the squiggles to keep it in?

Death, as usual, was silent.


	28. Chapter 28

28.

Harriet was getting frustrated. That snakey smell in Grass was strong enough to indicate that the main piece of the soul she was tracing visited the area frequently. This was actually a good thing as it indicated there was a central point of interest outside of Konoha that she could investigate.

It was also a bad thing as it was becoming more and more obvious that there was _something_ inside of Konoha giving off the same smell. Well, two things. One smelled old, as in nothing living remained in the area that once held a massive concentration of snake. The other something smelled alive and moved in and out of the city of it's own volition.

While she was sure the second something was a shinobi, she knew it wasn't the actual soul she was searching for.

This was ultimately the problem: she couldn't pin down the primary pieces of the soul she was looking for. Well, that wasn't exactly true. After a great amount of effort (the damn thing wouldn't stay in one place!), she'd identified what was likely the original piece. The issue was the smaller pieces of soul, the fragments lying about here and there, some of which also moved.

So far, most of these fragments she'd found, and the places that smelled of the original, were suspiciously concentrated in underground areas that screamed "mad scientist lab hidden here!" This aided her conclusion that the primary had likely purposefully fractured his soul with a specific purpose in mind. If asked, she would bet her net worth in ryo on it having something to do with obtaining immortality.

That aside, these bits of soul artificially attached to the chakra networks of other, moving persons were troubling. The whole thing was disturbingly reminiscent of soul jars.

Thus, while she couldn't necessarily verify her conclusions until she hunted down all the pieces, she decided it was best to hunt down the smaller pieces first before she took care of the larger one running freely across the elemental countries in that absurd cloak.

Now, it was a matter of finding a way to destroy the soul pieces without destroying the containers.

This was going to be tedious.


	29. Chapter 29

29.

Harriet had altered her appearance with a plethora of charms and transfigurations designed to provide zero visual aide in connecting the image she presented to her general person.

She based the handy bits of human transfiguration on Tonks: she had pale eyes, a heart shaped face, and pink hair. She'd even gone so far as to change the shape of her eyebrows (the details were important).

Her standard charms added to the image by aging her physical appearance so that she appeared more mature without giving her any notable features. The charms she applied specifically for this occasion also increased her height by about 3 inches, lengthened her hair (which was in a high ponytail), and changed her voice. That the voice was obviously masculine and implied she should have a full box beard only added to the confusion (and made the whole thing rather fun).

Of course, she knew better than to go so far as to show up wearing shinobi garb but she wanted to blend in … somewhere. That her kimono combined several fashions from different countries and different time periods once again only added to the confusion (and made the whole thing funnier still).

Thus armed, Hari quietly observed the Deer Man (why was she so terrible with names?) as she approached with Prongs. Per usual, he was playing shogi on his porch. When Prongs stopped, she stopped and sent an inquiring eyebrow his way. To approach further or not to approach?

Considering his fellow clansmen had been tracking her since she appeared in the holding, hand resting on an entirely unconcerned deer, she was completely unsurprised he didn't even bother to look up.

"Po-te-ru san I take it?" She inclined her head ever so slightly in a very prim and proper manner. "How did you get past the defenses?"

She smiled. "The deer let me in."

At the sound of her voice, the Deer Man froze, met her gaze casually, and went on as if hearing that voice come out of a woman was perfectly natural. Harriet wasn't entirely surprised but she was somewhat disappointed (she'd put a lot of thought into this prank, thank you!).

"The Hokage wishes to speak with you."

"Then he can do so here, in the presence of the deer."

"Such a sensitive matter cannot be discussed so lightly where others can overhear."

"Pity."


	30. Chapter 30

30.

The Land of Vegetables was almost exactly as it read on the tin. While the country itself was placed within a mountainous region and quite green with trees, the very same mountains were skillfully terraced with growing food stuffs. The various towns and small city situated throughout the country were also predictably surrounded by small farms and what she would otherwise consider Victory gardens.

The Land of Birds was very much within the same vain. Located between the Lands of Wind and Earth, it was likewise quite green but with a deal more water – which, of course it was. Why else would soooooo many birds migrate there every year?

The experience was actually rather nice. She'd needed a bit more green in her life after so, _so much_ sand in both mentionable and unmentionable places. Watching all of the birds migrating to and fro across the country was rather relaxing, and the number of nuke-nin on the ground was rather sparse. Thus, instead, she'd truly had an opportunity to really practice some more mundane medicine.

It was nice to know her small talismans for health were so appreciated. They were rather simple, naturally, but she fancied the simple, small little kanji carvings on equally simple cords, were both pleasant to look at and suitably subtle.

She did engage in a bit of more complex magic to help the fallow fields recover while they rested, but there was no one around to notice her work, or, and this she knew was particularly crucial, that it was even her helping the healing process along.

Overall, her time there was pleasant.

While she'd considered traveling to the Land of Keys, she ultimately decided there didn't seem to be anything to draw her interest. Thus, eventually, and it truly was eventually, she decided to make her way to the Land of Iron.


	31. Chapter 31

31.

Her reading partner, who she fancied she knew rather well at this point, was being put in charge of children. She personally didn't think it was a good idea and thought who ever dreamt it up should be written up for child endangerment.

But it did make for rather cute pictures in her head. Of course, there were also terrifying pictures in her head for what would happen to the psyche of those poor children but hey, they were training to be ninja and psychological games were part of the job description; the sooner they learned the better.

Did ninja have therapists?

Meh. The important part of this whole revelation was that her reading partner, who had an enduring amount of _excellent_ taste, was being made responsible for the care and training of impressionable children. _THIS,_ entirely as a matter of training enhancement, opened the door for pranks. So many pranks. So, _so_ many _justifiable_ pranks.

'Where to even begin? OOOOh, dear me, where to even begin!'

Fellow Art Lover: "Maa, feather-san, I can hear you from here."

'He could NOT!' The Tail Wagger had the nerve to eye smile – not at her of course, that would give away both her location and the game. 'I am NOT that predicable! Nor could you possibly know me that well!"

Child Number One: "Umm, who are you talking to sensei?"

Child Number Two: "Great, he's crazy too."

'You mean crazy smart, you ninkapoot greenbean!"

Mind Reader: "True."

Child Number One: "Ummm…"

Child Number Two: "True? He just called you crazy!"

Partner-in-Crime: "Now that's just mean."

Child Number Three: *crunch*

Child Number One: "aha ha ha. So, Sensei, what's next?"

'whooooo GOOD question!' *cackle* 'Flip to the next page. The next PAGE!"

Child Number Two: "We find someone who's –

Intelligence Incarnate (flipping his book back open): *giggle*

Child Number Two: " – IS THAT PORN!"

Child Number One (with a visible wilt): "Sensei…"

Child Number Three: "… are we allowed to read that too now?"

*COOOOO*

Acquisition Man: "Maa, cute little genin shouldn't ask questions like that."

Party Pooper!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and no, this is not team 7 - it's a potential team Kakashi could have passed... if he ever had the mind to pass a team before he HAD to pass a team


	32. Chapter 32

32.

Harriet was missing some fine point or another. She knew she was, she just didn't know what it was.

The question was: where were all the snakes coming from?

Really, she had no problem with snakes. None what so ever. Truly, after one faced down a basilisk, the venomous nature of your everyday adder was just a passing thought.

"Sssnake-sssan, would you allow me the honor of a bit of your wonderful venom?" With snakes, it was always a great idea to flatter. The species as a whole were generally not aggressive, but no snake cared for being handled against their will in the manner she wanted.

"Sssssure Speaker."

Gently, she went about collecting the venom. Venom had a number of uses after all. Oddly enough, one of those uses was treating diseases that breakdown the brain and the nervous system. It was undeniably finicky, and had to be carefully handled, but it was completely worth it to have a few such potions, and venom tipped tools, on hand. "Constant Vigilance!" and all that.

When she was done, she gave into her curiosity before the adder could wonder off.

"Snssake-sssan, you're really intelligent. Where are you from?"

"Of course Ssspeaker!" He seemed to stretch even as he drew himself up as far as he could. "I am a ssssummon."

'A summon? Really? You could summon snakes?'

"Thank you ssssnake-sssan. I have many questionsss. I think I will go look for the one who ssssummoned you."

"She isss not very far. She sssshould meet a proper Sssspeaker and be honored!"

Harriet didn't truly agree with that last statement. Esh, she didn't have anything to lose. Then again…

"Perhapssss it would be better to ssspeak with your King or Queen? I want to be ressspectful and learn the rulessss."

She imagined if a snake could shrug, the adder would have done just that. Instead, it literally side eyed her for what felt like minutes.

"It ssshould not be wrong to bring a Ssspeaker to the Great Manda."

"I thank you. What do I do?"

The snakey laugh that followed both sounded and felt entirely unnatural. Eventually, the snake slithered over to her. Crouching as she was, it wasn't too difficult for it to begin wrapping its scaley near meter of length up her arm and around her torso. Then it promptly did what she believed was called a reverse summons.

As it happened, the Great Manda was not particularly pleased. In fact, he took particular exception to that bit of basilisk that still tinged her scent. Nonetheless, her status as a 'Speaker' did earn her a full and proper audience.

Which was wonderful because where the hell were all the snakes coming from? And if they were summons, then who the hell was summoning them all so liberally?


	33. Chapter 33

33.

Konohagakure hadn't been the first hidden village she'd discovered. It was, however, the first to keep her interest.

On foot, the village was not so easily found as it was deep within a heavily forested region of the Land of Fire … at the base of a rather large mountain cliff that had faces carved into it that made spotting it from the air really rather easy.

But who was she to question the lack of subtlety involved in that?

From a bird's vantage point, the village was a bit more spread out than some of the other hidden villages, with pockets of forest scattered throughout that made flitting about the village easier than it had been in Iwa, Kumo, or Suna.

Along the borders of the village, to the west, there was also a rather nice park that contrasted immensely with the death trap masquerading as a forest directly south of it. To the east of that lovely piece of work, following the southern borders of the village, were what appeared to be an extensive clan holding that extended on its lonesome from the main portion of the village and a small cluster of apartments, separated and surrounded by various fields that she had come to recognize as ninja training grounds. The east and northeast outskirts of the village consisted mostly of forest, with a smattering of clearings and a single clan (she assumed it was a clan) holding.

It was here, after about a month of scouting the village, that she found the deer. She wasn't quite sure what had drawn her to the animals but once she'd gotten a good look at the herd she couldn't help the echoes of her past life that welled up. In fact, she'd gotten so lost in thought, she didn't notice the herd gathering about her tree until one of the deer lowered its head and gave it a good thwak.

The deer could tell she was off? Huh. While that wasn't abnormal (most animals recognized when something smelling of Death walked by), animals didn't generally find her presence bothersome (Death, after all, was just another turn on the wheel of life).

They also didn't call her out on it.

'Well, it's not like I have much to lose (other than being run through multiple times by a set of antlers but hey! Gotta live a little!).'

So, she carefully edged out onto the tip of the limb as the deer began backing away from the tree, then dropped, changing into her two-legged form for the first time in several days as she fell.

The deer that had rammed the tree wasn't disturbed in the least… Which was strange in that most animals reacted poorly to her leaving her animagus form as she had. It should have at least startled it like it had some of its fellows.

'How curious.'

When the deer failed to make another move, she did something that most others would have considered rather daft: she folded her legs and sat down, put an elbow to her knee, and propped her head on a fist, never breaking eye contact.

After several long minutes, it approached, and, in a way that should have been terrifying, and was most definitely threatening, lowered its antlers to just short of gently butting her in the head. She took it as a good sign and gently butted back. Seemly satisfied, the deer backed away.

Understanding that she'd just received some form of acknowledgement or permission, Harriet stood up, brushed the seat of her pants and launched seamlessly into the air to continue her exploration of this section of the forest.

After some thought, she named the sturdy ten point deer that appeared to lead the herd Prongs.

It was the beginning of a wonderful, if very strange, friendship.


	34. Chapter 34

34.

Harriet decided it was best to stay with her altered appearance. Again, why give anyone assistance with locating her? Throughout her reconnaissance of the village, she'd realized that pink hair wasn't exactly uncommon, nor were particularly pale eyes. She perhaps appeared to be older than the average shinobi, but by this point she knew perfectly well Deer Man (he. Has. A. NAME!) just assumed she was using some form of henge. Not that she quite knew how those worked given chakra was chakra and changing your appearance didn't change the look or feel of your chakra.

She could appreciate a good henge though.

O look! It was He of Good Taste! Huh. She wouldn't have pegged her reading partner as a personal guard of the Hokage. He was an elite jonin, sure, that was outright blatant given the way he carried himself; not to mention his behavior in public.

"Here," her deep voice subwoofered out as she tossed the 'ANBU' with the dog mask a package. "I heard you might appreciate this." The bumski caught the small package without even breaking eye contact. Hopefully, he'd appreciate the effort she'd put into that particular gift – all the way from the Land of Vegetables, that! Freshly minted too!

Mr. Deer Man -san actually gave something of a smile at the whole thing. The Hokage coughed.

"If we can get started, Po-te-ru san?"

"Of course." Man, she loved this voice!

"According to Hawk-san," (*snicker*) "you hunt nuke-nin."

"I do." She stuffed her arms loosely into her kimono sleeves and silently waited for him to continue. The "Professor" smiled, understanding perfectly well she would give little quarter where it wasn't warranted.

"Troublesome. We're looking for a snake."

Harriet couldn't control the angry hiss she let out – largely because it was the only way she could say the very impolite words she absolutely NEEDED to say about Mr. Snakey Smell – then sniffed primly.

"Generally, I would refuse flat out. I happen to like snakes."

Mr. Shogi's eyes sharpened. "But?"

"Depends," she hmmm'd. "It's not every day those such as Prongs vouch for someone."

The Hokage's lips twitched, even as her reading partner took the opportunity to properly slouch, likely in either exasperation or shared amusement.


	35. Chapter 35

35.

There was that eye watering jumpsuit again. If she wasn't so sure the shinobi watching the boy at all times would react poorly, she'd drag the boy off to buy new clothes herself.

So, instead, she was settling for a stoop delivery.

How the child lived alone in a ninja village, attended a ninja academy, and still thought it was a good idea to keep his window open at night was beyond her. The fact that he lived alone and no one seemed to mind was displeasing enough to begin with.

Small steps.

For now, she would have to settle with acting like a mail owl. Personally, she thought it was worth it: the two new, carefully chosen shirts (one midnight blue, one forest green, both with small, tasteful orange bands here and there) and a pair of black shorts fit for a shinobi were well over due.

So, she alighted into the room, dropped the package on the boy's head before he could properly react, and took up residence on the windowsill.

"AWWW! What was that for!"

His cute surprise and undignified reaction was rather amusing so Harriet merely clicked her beak patiently.

The boy continued rubbing his head as he made a rather cute pout, torn between bewilderment and defensive anger.

Harriet ruffled her feathers and clicked her beak again.

The boy's eyes turned suspicious and looked between her and the thick package she had just dropped on his head. Finally, he stopped rubbing his head and maneuvered himself into a sitting position that allowed him to both pull the package closer and keep an eye on her. With one last suspicious glance, he took off the twine and began unwrapping the brown paper.

It took the boy a while to process the contents of the package. Harriet could just see the wheels in the boy's head turning. She hadn't calculated for the tears though.

When the boy (she really should learn his name) turned those tear filled eyes toward her, she clicked her beak in a much more irritated manner. She knew, oh how she knew, what the boy was likely feeling but she was no hero for engaging in some common decency (and really, seeing that orange jumpsuit to a dumpster would be a public service well done).

Eventually, the boy rubbed a supremely orange arm over his wet eyes and shook his head, likely in an attempt to concentrate. The look of wonderment in his eyes when he pulled out first the shorts, then the shirts for inspection helped settle Harriet's worry over how her gift would be received.

Still, after the tears, she hadn't been expecting his rather exuberant jump for joy.

"These are so COOL-ttebayo!"

She was gratified to see him immediately strip off his orange jacket to try on the first top.

Wait, that was an epic set of squiggles on his stomach. Far more epic than Rōshi's squiggles. Had they met? Is this why he smelled like fox? Rōshi had always smelled vaguely of monkey.

… had she met the fox before?

'You know, I think I have.'


	36. Chapter 36

36.

The first time she encountered him went something like:

Who the HELL did that pervert think he was!? This was _ABSOLUTELY_ intolerable! As if she couldn't see the outline of THAT BASTARD peering into the women's baths! Justu or no justu, peeping was peeping and she wasn't going to stand for it!

(Go Harriet, Go!)

Without breaking her stride, she seamlessly petrified the sizable male hiding in the bushes and banished him clear through the next building before he had the opportunity to even think about slinging steel at her.

Served the pervert right!

The second/ third time went something like:

Really Konoha?! They're everywhere! A pervert here! A pervert _there_!

'GOT YOU!'

(Prank! Prank! Prank!)

'How about a little kabuki paint in all the wrong ways displayed for all the town to see?'

Really! Every time I visit, there's _someone_ who needs to learn a lesson about privacy!

Somewhere between the fourth and sixth time:

Harriet narrowed her eyes. She recognized that hair. He'd gotten better at his jutsu to be sure, but she'd gotten better at looking for it as well. You only encountered something that dangerous to your health so many times before you made sure you could counter it.

The fact he'd even been perfecting it over all these years was even worse!

'Shameless!'

It was time to really drive home her lesson. She allowed herself a particularly vicious hawky smile.

And no, she wasn't leaving him with a solution to the _little_ problem he was about to have for a very long time...

Sometime suitably later:

There was a twitchy head of big, wild white hair standing suitably far from one of Konoha's more reputable bath houses. Harriet smirked, and it wasn't necessarily innocent or friendly.

While her little jinx (*cough* curse) only applied to Konoha bathing establishments (for now), it was good to know it'd had a lasting, and absolutely satisfying effect. After all, who didn't appreciate the female form? Especially when it turned out to be a man's form the moment said man moved in the water? Especially when you were _certain_ you'd finally found your way to the women's side this time?

Harriet mentally sighed in contentment at her handiwork. After all, who appreciated a peeping tom? No one. But who appreciated a peeping tom who kept somehow realizing the side of the bath house he was absolutely convinced was the women's side but whose eyes kept discovering too late the soft, delicate features he was admiring were most certainly that of a man? Every single woman ever subjected to such an ero-nin's attentions!

Bwahhahahahaha!

"How are you enjoying all those perception filters that keep trying to convince you you're in the right spot without giving you the satisfaction of even a peak at the female form?"

She snickered evilly and began to make a show of preening herself, enjoying the chaos she had sown for this particular serial offender.

Jiraiya

He was both confused and wary of Konoha's bath houses. Had been for years.

Now, he was absolutely determined to both dismantle and replicate whatever fuinjustu array was driving him mad.

If only he could find even a _hint_ of where the damn thing was! … without getting any closer to _any_ of the darn establishments.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is just about complete. There will be grand total of 43 "chapters." I'm honestly surprised this "short" became so "long" ... Thank you for sticking with it.

37.

Harriet couldn't decide if the Three Wolves were aptly or deceptively named. On one hand, there were indeed three of them, and they had spirit in abundance. On the other hand, they were most assuredly unfriendly, indiscriminately aggressive, and very fond of playing with you in a such a way that lethality was always just within reach.

Their call and song, however, were both soothing and alluring. While the land they guarded and reigned supreme over was often covered in ice and snow, taking shelter within their territory was a promise of safety. The Three Wolves, after all, tended to be unforgiving of shinobi. The Three Wolves were even more unforgiving of shinobi who thought to bring their ways and wars into their sights.

But then again, the Three Wolves could simply be downright unforgiving and your opinions on that score meant nothing to them.

Was _any_ of this _wolf_ like behavior?

A thin layer of ice and snow crunched lightly under Harriet's feet. She had been told, and she used that word loosely, by the ever so helpful nuke-nin she'd caught trying to sneak off without paying his due, that seeing this particular bridge was worth navigating the domain of the Three Wolves. She grudgingly acknowledged he had been quite correct. Large, perfectly slotted, strong blue stones formed the masterpiece of a bridge that lay before her. Climbing skyward from the very base of the chasm itself like the wall of a great Keep, the crossing looked sure and secure as it connected both sides of the road. It was the torii like gate proudly towering above those first steps back upon the earth that made the whole experience awe inspiring though.

She stopped to truly appreciate her view from the curve leading into the crossing. Really, referring to it as a mere _bridge_ seemed a bit rude…

"I see you have some appreciation for fine workmanship." His stern features were matched by a piercing stare.

"Naturally," Harriet blinked back.

"I will accompany you across the bridge, traveler, and to your destination if I deem it necessary."

He strode off, pausing only a moment when Harriet failed to follow. She quickly caught up.

"That's really rather unnecessary, samurai-san, but thank you for the offer."

"It was not an offer."

She made a noncommittal noise, then slowly began peeling away from her new companion. When she was near the quarter length of the bridge, she quietly moved to inspect the stone, her hands plainly visible.

"Is the stone naturally blue, samurai-san?" She tapped it lightly with her knuckle. "Do you know if it has any special properties or minerals?"

"The stone is as the stone has always been traveler. Why do you wish to know?"

"Because I am curious." If anything, his face set even more. She sighed and looked back up. "Because it's beautiful and I'm curious and I'm trying to decide if that beauty and curiosity are worth crossing brushes with swords."

"What occupation would bring your brush in contact with my sword, traveler?"

"Healer, samurai-san – I'm a healer and sometimes…" She paused to look out over the pass again, taking in the mountains until her eyes were once more drawn to the torii like gate. "Sometimes, I heal what needs to be healed, even when the other side doesn't take too kindly to the action."

She met his gaze head on, unfazed, unafraid, bright smile on her lips.

Turning, he simply said, "keep up."

So she did.


	38. Chapter 38

38.

Harriet was on the hunt. That snakey-but-not-quite-snakey-enough smell was all over Konoha. She'd gotten a good whiff of it some time ago, but she hadn't begun to suspect it wasn't just another thing unique to some clan or another until it had passed by her.

Then her deathy senses began a tingling.

The trouble was the smell had literally passed her by. She wasn't sure how or why, but it had moved by her fast enough that she felt compelled to investigate. And so, she was on the hunt.

'Here~, piggy piggy.'

Can you even bait a snake like that? Harriet filed the question away as ultimately unimportant.

So. Options. One: The Smell had been carried by the wind. One, subsections: either the smell was concentrated in a previously sealed area that had been opened or someone was, in effect, wearing the smell. Two, with crossovers from prior subsection, The Smell was emanating from a person as an odor or feel rather than as some sort of strange perfume. Two, subsections: given it was a swift passing, it was either a fast moving animal, like a rat (she hated rats) or a fast moving person – a ninja?

So. A person or a place? A place or a person?

She absolutely refused to chase after anymore rats. REFUSED.

It would be easier for her to start with the person angle. She was, after all, NOT a dog. So, with a bit more wandering, her 'innocent traveler' persona gradually made her way to someone who, in at least one sense of the word, was a dog.

"Ano, shinobi-san? Excuse me but can you help me?"

The visible eye on the masked face didn't even blink when he stopped. She gave her most award winning, softest, 'I'm so innocent and provincial' smile – without over doing it! – and gripped the straps of her shoulder pack.

"I am looking for a shinobi who likes snakes."

He looked up, gave a single slow blink, and didn't in the least bit alter his stance.

"I think they may be quite ill." L'eau du SnakeyMort couldn't be good for anyone's health, really.

… speaking of health, was her shogi partner aware of that area of the forest that oozed snakiness and death? Did the deer know? It really couldn't be good for the health of either…


	39. Chapter 39

39.

Turns out boy-who-is-no-longer-solely-wearing-a "HERE I AM!"- orange-jumpsuit, did indeed have a foxy passenger, just not the half of the foxy passenger she had met previously.

Now that she was looking for it, she could see the outlines of the small pocket dimension that held the bijuu inside of the boy.

She should really learn his name. What was it with her and names? Really, it was getting quite annoying.

Anywho, now that she could stand to look at the boy for more than five minutes at a time (she maintained the shop owner who sold the boy that MONSTROSITY should be jailed), that vaguely Rōshi feel to the boy was stronger than she'd initially thought: not nearly as refined or, dare she say, peaceful, but it was there.

She wondered if he'd already learned how to take care of the fox? Interact with it? Make peace with it? Perhaps adjust those absolutely archaic bindings to facilitate less hostile conditions and interactions? According to her previous research, these were all very important things to learn and do, especially if he planned to eventually use the bijuu's chakra and use it effectively.

Did he even know that he could do that? Hmmm… Perhaps she should include a note with her next care package? (When had these care packages become a thing?!)

…Or should she address the issue through her reading partner? Surely _he_ wouldn't be surprised if she dropped off some edited information for the boy. Truly, he shouldn't be surprised at all if she decided to drop in over by his post – it's not as if he could _possibly_ think she wasn't aware that he was there.

Right?

Then again, she was quite sure he had a few screws loose. Absolutely rich coming from her, that, but hey! If the shoe fits and all that jazz.

She flapped over to his perch on a roof high above Foxy Boy's current location.

FWAPP!

"Maa, Hawk-san, how rude." She gave him her best side eye.

FWAPP!

"Now you're just having fun." She cocked her head slyly at him, then sidled along her branch until it was very clear to him what she was eyeing.

… She wondered if Dog Mask (how original) had known the boy's father? Honestly, the boy was a spitting image of him…


	40. Chapter 40

40.

"A deer, a dog, and a hawk entered a training ground…"

Harriet snickered. Wasn't that a beautiful start to a very odd tale? Or was it technically a date? They had definitely set this up. There was no way it wasn't a pre-determined affair. She had actually gone and found her most dubiously excellent supplier of both tasty and illicit goods and his puppies, only to discover her dear (ha!) intellectual superior lazily leaning against a tree. Looking innocent.

NOT.

It was a total setup.

'BAH!'

… was it still a date if it was a set up? There simply weren't enough of them for it to be a double date and she knew both of them so it wouldn't be called a 'blind' date either.

It was always the tougher questions in life that made you late for appointments you neither made nor expected.

Sigh. 'He's rubbing off on me.'

"Maa, Hawk-san, you're late." Eye smile. Hawky shrug. A pair of eyes looking as if they'd rather be on their porch napping.

They were BOTH rubbing off on her.

Dear Shika (*snicker*) something-or-another produced a letter of some sort as she alighted onto a suitable lower branch. She side eyed it though, considering whether she really wanted to become her own messenger.

She was. Not. An. Owl. Thankyouverymuch.

"No need to be so distrustful, Hawk-san. I thought we were friends," Mr. Slouchy said.

She turned up her beak in a parody of a delicate sniff. She knew perfectly well it was a true statement, but she also knew perfectly well he was very much a devoted Konoha shinobi.

"I really don't think she trusts you guys boss."

The Shika snorted. "I know you're not a messenger hawk, but you didn't leave us with any contact information for your friend. I'm curious how the deer know how to get in touch with a nuke-nin hunter who is not affiliated with the Oinin Butai, or, as I suspect, any other village." My, his eyes could get quite sharp when he wanted.

Harriet clicked her beak twice, then feigned interest in her left wing.

"Troublesome."

If she was so troublesome, why was he unsealing a shogi board and _her_ perch? (It was a beautiful perch!)

Just to be extra "troublesome," she discreetly summoned Prongs the Patronus, who came, did a lap, then settled in as if to enjoy the match. He dissipated a few minutes into the game but not before the Shika gave her a very "how is this my life?" look and a book came down to reveal Mr. Reading Partner's second eye.

Well didn't that eye look vaguely familiar.


	41. Chapter 41

41.

Huh. Mr. Snakey likes dark cloaks with red clouds. Who'da thunk? Maybe it's just for flair- he is rather dramatic…

Harriet smiled viciously. His eccentricities and preferences were irrelevant. She had a bone to pick with Mr. Snakey and such trivialities would do nothing to prevent her from going to get EVERY. LAST. PIECE. of what he sought to hide. It was his time to meet death and understand that NO ONE escapes Death. NO ONE.

If her grin was getting vaguely maniacal, she didn't care.

"Haha," she said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly, discretely tagging him with a tracking spell in the process. "I seem to be quite lost, Red Cloud-san. Perhaps you can help me?"

The way he brushed her off did nothing for him.

"Really, I could use some help getting to …" Did he just shunshin?! Like hell!

Using her unique, lightening quick style of apparition, she jumped. Then promptly proceeded to slam a fist into the back of his head before he could get away. She got the impression he didn't take it too well given the hail storm of shuriken he promptly sent back at her.

As if she wasn't already wearing battle gear, spelled to high heaven, under her standard civilian travel wear. Still, there was no reason for her to stick around and bother with dodging, instead jumping to a position _very_ near his jugular. But she wasn't fast enough.

And so they continued to play in the trees. She gave him no time to perform jutsus, engaging him head on, jumping from angle to angle to keep him pinned in the general area she had been thoughtfully tagging as she went.

Then he brought out that damn sword of his and took a swipe at her head. She ended up falling to the ground, easily landing into a bone preserving roll after all of her sudden shifts from winged to two legged over the years. She moved straight from the roll into a head on sword to sword clash: the Sword of Kusanagi against the sword of Gryffindor imbued with the merits of the Sword of Totsuka.

O, was that surprise? She felt her slightly maniacal smile from before light up her face in a truly demonic light.

He jumped away, truly on guard for the first time.

"Who are you!"

"Someone who's come to collect." There was always a price.

It was high time he paid it.


	42. Chapter 42

42.

Hiruzen silently contemplated his life thus far. There were some genuine highlights intermixed with the expected lows. Minato figured prominently into both, as did his remaining student and son.

And now, so did his own long time friend and former teammate. Regardless of what that softer, 'remember when we were just kids?' side of him wished, Danzo would be given zero quarter. His crimes were on par with, if not greater and more treacherous, than his former student's actions.

The same former student whose head was currently gift wrapped and laid before him in a mix of green gift wrap, silk, and wax paper liner. He sighed. What kind of supposed civilian sent gifts of this sort? Via sentient, overly intelligent, not-a-spy hawk?

"From Speaker Potter, with love and affection." Shikaku had the nerve to smirk. "Finish taking care of your really weird tree problem and we'll call this one even." Huff. "Dog Man owes me lunch."

Hizuzen couldn't help but smile, albeit somewhat grimly. "I am more concerned with our being indebted to a nuke-nin hunter." Shikaku considered the hawk for a moment.

"I don't think we need to be. Anko still claims that her snakes would never have purposely gone after her on their own: they were "spoken" to first. My bet is on Pot-san" – indignant squawk – "actually liking snakes, perhaps the snake summons in particular, and took personal offense to Orochimaru's contract with them."

He personally thought that, if true, the words 'personal offense' were an understatement given the way the snakes had gleefully described how the body had been disposed…the same snakes that had attacked Anko … with a lethal poison they'd never seen or heard of before, after about ten or so other snakes had managed to pin her down and bare her neck.

Then said snakes left a small black pot with a sheet of green origami paper folded into the shape of a hawk. Since when did snakes leave calling cards?

"And the fact Pot-san" – angry beak clicking – "bears the same marker of the mysterious Healer?" He turned his steady gaze on the hawk. "That hawk-san here delivered the same black pot to Naruto?"

If a bird could pull off a "who, me?" it was the non-summons hawk he was speaking to with honorifics.

Internally, he gave in to a sigh. Now, did this count as a low point or a high point in his life?


	43. Chapter 43

43\. (final)

Harriet was sat in a tree in her animagus form observing the forest and the forest floor she was certain Death's sense of smell had pulled her to. Something about the tug felt familiar and it took her a while to place the feeling.

'Ah. Now I remember.'

It had the feel of that pot-mouthed, supposedly immortal nuke-nin that worshiped Death and Chaos and shit knew what else that she'd taken a partial payment out of in the form of unnecessary pain, pain that likely would have shortened his life span if his comrade hadn't been there to watch over him.

Yet, here he was, somewhere in the general vicinity, likely deep beneath the earth if the earthiness that covered the smell was any indication. Really, she didn't particularly care how he'd gotten there but it was high time she collected on his remaining debt and she intended to do so face to face.

While she considered her options, she eventually spotted that Nara boy she had often watched cloud watching from afar and whose grief at the passing of his sensei she had been heartbroken to watch. She was rather fond of the Naras, but she could only do so much given her need to keep vaguely aloof and unaligned, but this little bit she could do.

She sought out Rikumaru, changed forms, and approached the young man with the leader of the herd at her side as he leaned against a tree, smoking. She stopped a respectful distance away, then, in her absurdly deep voice, quietly stated a simple: "Shikamaru."

He didn't startle or even turn his head to face her. It wasn't surprising given how she'd approached. "Who are you?"

"An acquaintance of your father's. I happen to be looking for a certain immortal's head. I believe he was buried around here?"

Shikamaru stood up from his slouch against the tree and gave her a long look. "Why his head?"

"Hidan owes me something." [His soul.] "I intend to collect face to face."


End file.
